Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

[gregl]

[gregl]

[GCoyote]

[chicagorandy]

Heard a feller say he doesn't ever see his wife and kids anymore. And it's all because of his gambling.

He won the lottery and bought himself a one-way ticket to Fiji.

[chicagorandy]

[chicagorandy]

[chicagorandy]

Even though it has been 130 years.......

[chicagorandy]

Time to pucker up when you stand under it......

[chicagorandy]

The police just came to my door and said my dog was chasing a kid on his bike. I just shut the door.

My dog doesn't even have a bike.

[GCoyote]

[Ylem]

469756-17ea050bb1ecc8260e36dd66c947e951.jpg (20.63 KiB) Viewed 1614 times

[DeanD]

IMG_0595.PNG


IMG_0594.PNG

My son and daughter-in-law just gave me a shirt for Christmas: they gave me one last year too, but it is way too big and is still in the drawer waiting for me to take it to a tailor for alterations... I showed them these cartoons and they loved them!
(PS: fortunately the new one fits! )

[gregl]

[SparWeb]

If you're being chased by a bear, cougar, alligator, or dinosaur, it helps to know what they will get out of the encounter, if they win:

[GCoyote]

If you're being chased by a bear, cougar, alligator, or dinosaur, it helps to know what they will get out of the encounter, if they win:

Nutrition Facts T-shirt (Human).JPG

.
If you included all the preservatives they might decide to go after a nice low-fat deer instead.

[AntennaGuy]

If you're being chased by a bear, cougar, alligator, or dinosaur, it helps to know what they will get out of the encounter, if they win:

Nutrition Facts T-shirt (Human).JPG

Interesting follow-up info can be found here:
https://www.saveur.com/cannibalism-calorie-count/
and more specifically, here:
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep44707/tables/1
You're welcome. They don't include fava beans or chianti...

[DeanD]

If you're being chased by a bear, cougar, alligator, or dinosaur, it helps to know what they will get out of the encounter, if they win:

Nutrition Facts T-shirt (Human).JPG

Interesting follow-up info can be found here:
https://www.saveur.com/cannibalism-calorie-count/
and more specifically, here:
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep44707/tables/1
You're welcome. They don't include fava beans or chianti...

Is its just me: or is all this just a little bit creepy?

[gregl]

[gregl]

From The Onion: America's Finest News Source

[Ylem]

Once upon a time a man was tired of the fast pace of modern life and
decided to enter a monastery to gain inner peace. To become a member of this monastery though there was a requirement he could only speak 2 words every 10 years. The first 10 years goes by and he stands up at the communal dinner and says, " Bed hard."

Another 10 years goes by and he stands up and says, "Food bad."

Finally, after another 10 years goes by he stands up and says, "I quit."

The leader of the monastery immediately stands up and says, "I'm not surprised, you've done nothing but complain since you got here."