Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

[pakarinen]

[gregl]

[AntennaGuy]

Some pictures don't need a caption to be funny:
https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/s ... all&w=1221

[pakarinen]

Some pictures don't need a caption to be funny:
https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/s ... all&w=1221

I knew koi got big, but not *that* big.

[gregl]

Well, this isn't a joke but it belongs here. As they say, you can't make this stuff up. From today's newspaper:

Suspect using a walker robs bank of $200, Fresno police say. He did not get far

A man using a walker went into a downtown Fresno bank Tuesday and demanded money before being arrested a short time later, police said. The 68-year-old walked into the Wells Fargo on Fresno Street and Van Ness Avenue about 10:30 a.m. Tuesday, Lt. Bill Dooley said. While using a walker, he approached a teller with a note demanding money, police said. The teller gave him $200 and included a tracker with the cash. The man left headed west towards Fulton Street. “Officers were in the area and, with the help of the bank tracker and his slow movement, were able to locate him on Fulton just north of Fresno Street,” Dooley said in an email. The suspect was arrested without incident, police said, and the money was recovered.

Checking the map it looks like he made it about two tenths of a mile.

[chicagorandy]

[GCoyote]

If I were a Mad Scientist I'd create:
- A breed of cat with a credit card slot. No trips to the vet or pet store, just swipe to add minutes to "Fluffy".
- A dog that can pick up the poop the neighbor's dog left on the lawn, track it back to the correct house, and leave it along with a pointed note on civilized behavior.
- Birds that poop window washer fluid
- A weather machine that reroutes all the snow to ski resorts, the winter Olympics, and the homes of people who keep posting "I love snow" but don't have to go to work in it.
- A series of Terminators that hunt down telemarketers

[gregl]

[gregl]

[Ylem]

464194-d567c273ad93ec392e60cde12fcc1aa8.jpg (19.07 KiB) Viewed 1778 times

[chicagorandy]

[Ylem]

464193-c0ebbe2454d46072245bfce443c0b74d.jpg (21.2 KiB) Viewed 1761 times

[GCoyote]

.

.

[gregl]

An optimist is a person who comes in the day after Thanksgiving and asks, "What's for lunch?"

[pakarinen]

If the Titanic sank today...

[chicagorandy]

[Makuser]

Balancing the Books:
A lawyer dies and goes to heaven. “This must be a mistake,” he says to St. Peter at the pearly gates. “I’m too young to die. I’m only 50.”
“St. Peter says, “50? According to our calculations, you are 82.”
The lawyer then asks, “How did you get that figure?”
St. Peter replies, “We added up all your legal billing hours.”

[chicagorandy]

[pakarinen]

[gregl]