Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

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Star Dad
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#861

Post by Star Dad » Wed Jan 08, 2020 6:07 pm

Makuser wrote:
Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:37 pm
A Chance of Rain?:
The Ark.jpg
He should have bought a new telescope. Guaranteed rain! :sprefac:
"To be good is not enough when you dream of being great"

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#862

Post by SKEtrip » Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:01 am

FB_IMG_1575774625629.jpg
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#863

Post by notFritzArgelander » Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:13 am

SKEtrip wrote:
Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:01 am
FB_IMG_1575774625629.jpg
So when I am in my "crazy" state I'm Meatloaf and when I am in my "relatively sane" state I'm Hall and Oates?

It's Dionysus versus Apollo! The Joker versus Batman!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollonian_and_Dionysian
What did the Ancient Greeks wear on their feet? Tennis Zeus.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjo ... jokes.html
Scopes: Refractors: Orion ST80, SV ED80 A f7; Newtonians: Z12 f5; Catadioptrics: VMC110L, Intes MK66. EPs: KK Fujiyama Orthoscopics, 2x Vixen NPLs (40-6mm) and BCOs, Baader Mark IV zooms, TV Panoptics, Delos, Plossl 32-8mm. Mixed brand Masuyama/Astroplans Binoculars: Nikon Aculon 10x50, Celestron 15x70, Baader Maxbright. Mounts: Star Seeker III, Vixen Porta II, Celestron CG5, Orion Sirius EQG
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#864

Post by Makuser » Thu Jan 09, 2020 9:32 pm

Some Interesting Laws On Life:
Dentists' Law - Your toothache suddenly stops hurting when you finally get the dentist's office and sit in the waiting room, listening to the drills working.
Law of Bad Weather - The chances for bad weather, and especially rain, increases exponentially after the delivery of a new telescope or other astronomy gear, or you have just nicely washed your car or pick up truck.
Law of Velocity - No matter how slowly you think you're driving, that ONE time that you take your mind off of your speed for an instant, there is a police car with radar up ahead.
:lol:
- Marshall
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>)))))*>
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#865

Post by Shabadoo » Thu Jan 09, 2020 11:48 pm

Yesterday I met a guy named Jim Apple.
I bet he has a hard time introducing himself in France .
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#866

Post by Refractordude » Fri Jan 10, 2020 4:58 am

The great Redd Foxx.
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Telescopes: Meade LX70 120mm f/8 Refractor, Vixen 70mm f/12.9 Refractor, Tasco 49N 50mm Red Refractor
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#867

Post by goldstar » Fri Jan 10, 2020 4:34 pm

My old uncle developed a serious skin complaint some years ago.
The doctors and specialists were at a loss to diagnose it and it failed to respond to any treatment from vitamins to anti-biotics.
The best they could do to relieve the poor man was to cover him from head to foot in grease.
Alas this was ineffective and he went down hill rapidly after that....
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#868

Post by SKEtrip » Fri Jan 10, 2020 7:17 pm

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Philosophy is pondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie.
AD10, SV102T, AR127 & ST80
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#869

Post by notFritzArgelander » Fri Jan 10, 2020 9:33 pm

SKEtrip wrote:
Fri Jan 10, 2020 7:17 pm
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Philosophy is pondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie.
Within philosophy, Plato says that ketchup is a smoothie. David Hume notes the absence of tomato smoothies from menus. Wittgenstein cannot point to any instance of the word game "tomato smoothie".
Scopes: Refractors: Orion ST80, SV ED80 A f7; Newtonians: Z12 f5; Catadioptrics: VMC110L, Intes MK66. EPs: KK Fujiyama Orthoscopics, 2x Vixen NPLs (40-6mm) and BCOs, Baader Mark IV zooms, TV Panoptics, Delos, Plossl 32-8mm. Mixed brand Masuyama/Astroplans Binoculars: Nikon Aculon 10x50, Celestron 15x70, Baader Maxbright. Mounts: Star Seeker III, Vixen Porta II, Celestron CG5, Orion Sirius EQG
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#870

Post by Marcelo F. » Mon Jan 13, 2020 4:45 pm

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#871

Post by pakarinen » Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:05 pm

Grandma's cooking was so bad that the flies all chipped in to fix the screen door.

The doorbell rang the other night and it was my mother-in-law standing there in the pouring rain. I looked at her and said, "Well don't just stand there, go home!"
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#872

Post by avid.astronomer » Wed Jan 15, 2020 3:12 pm

My young son asked me, "Where does poo come from?"

I was a little uncomfortable, but gave him an honest explanation. He looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds, and then asked, "And Tigger?"
Tom Campbell (astro.tomandjul.com)

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#873

Post by pakarinen » Wed Jan 15, 2020 9:19 pm

avid.astronomer wrote:
Wed Jan 15, 2020 3:12 pm
My young son asked me, "Where does poo come from?"

I was a little uncomfortable, but gave him an honest explanation. He looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds, and then asked, "And Tigger?"
Bwaaaaaa-haaaahaaaahaaahaaa! Outstanding!
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#874

Post by Makuser » Thu Jan 16, 2020 5:57 pm

pakarinen wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:05 pm
Grandma's cooking was so bad that the flies all chipped in to fix the screen door.
Hi pakarinen. That was hilarious. Here is the flip side.
To Grandmother's House We Go:
Grandma invited her son, daughter in law, and grandson over for dinner on Sunday night. When the dinner was served, they all sat down at the table. The father asked; "Aren't we going to pray before we eat like we do at home?" The grandson replied; "Not necessary. Grandma knows how to cook." :lol:
- Marshall
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>)))))*>
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#875

Post by Refractordude » Thu Jan 16, 2020 7:12 pm

Funny
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Telescopes: Meade LX70 120mm f/8 Refractor, Vixen 70mm f/12.9 Refractor, Tasco 49N 50mm Red Refractor
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#876

Post by Shabadoo » Thu Jan 16, 2020 11:34 pm

What did the hat say to the scarf?
You hang around here, I will go on ahead.
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#877

Post by Makuser » Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:36 am

Another from the great sarcastic humor of Gary Larson and The Far Side.
Dog Fax.jpg
PS. I am a cat lover, but this is still humorous.
- Marshall
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>)))))*>
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#878

Post by Refractordude » Fri Jan 17, 2020 5:10 am

Very true
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Telescopes: Meade LX70 120mm f/8 Refractor, Vixen 70mm f/12.9 Refractor, Tasco 49N 50mm Red Refractor
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#879

Post by Refractordude » Fri Jan 17, 2020 5:19 am

Rodney Dangerfield on the johnny Carson show 1980.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MecU2keW54I
Telescopes: Meade LX70 120mm f/8 Refractor, Vixen 70mm f/12.9 Refractor, Tasco 49N 50mm Red Refractor
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#880

Post by Lady Fraktor » Fri Jan 17, 2020 5:21 am

south-Alabama.jpg
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