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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Wed May 08, 2024 2:00 pm
by chicagorandy
OzEclipse wrote: ↑Wed May 08, 2024 7:18 am
Lady Fraktor wrote: ↑Wed May 08, 2024 3:46 am
#1 I had to have explained to me, #2 look very close
IMG_5841.jpgIMG_5842.jpg
I was teaching a young colleague how to replace the ionisation filament in our mass spectrometer one day. i asked him to undo the bolts on the flange. He immediately grabbed a 10" shift spanner. i stopped him, explained it was a German manufactured machine and he'd need a 250mm metric shift spanner. He dutifully started looking for one. I then let him in on the joke and explained that in fact, I stopped him because I didn't want him to burr all my flange bolts with a shift spanner and that he needed to use an offset 13mm ring spanner.
For the pictures with the two cars, is it that they rhyme? Gran Torino, El camino?
The flames are painted on backwards because the Pinto gas tank sometimes exploded on impact in a crash.
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Wed May 08, 2024 3:56 pm
by AntennaGuy
Lady Fraktor wrote: ↑Wed May 08, 2024 3:46 am
#1 I had to have explained to me, #2 look very close
IMG_5841.jpgIMG_5842.jpg
As "an older guy," I think the first one is funny (but sad, too) due to the association of the Ford Pinto and its unfortunate tendency toward catching fire if struck in the rear-end.
https://www.motortrend.com/features/ford-pinto/
Added: Ah, Chicagorandy beat me to it.
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Thu May 09, 2024 4:56 pm
by Chich
chicagorandy wrote: ↑Wed May 08, 2024 2:00 pm
The flames are painted on backwards because the Pinto gas tank sometimes exploded on impact in a crash.
And it has the gasoline hazmat placard on the back to boot.
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Fri May 10, 2024 12:02 am
by chicagorandy
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Fri May 10, 2024 1:40 am
by Chich
If it wasn't for black humour I wouldn't make it through most days
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Fri May 10, 2024 3:50 am
by Lady Fraktor
Chich wrote: ↑Fri May 10, 2024 1:40 am
If it wasn't for black humour I wouldn't make it through most days
It probably says something about my personality but I do agree
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Fri May 10, 2024 8:33 am
by OzEclipse
A fisherman was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a Gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. .. ....
(get ready)
'You just happened to catch my eye.'
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Sat May 11, 2024 3:58 pm
by Ylem
Resident Alien fans will get this
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Sat May 11, 2024 9:11 pm
by chicagorandy
Ylem wrote: ↑Sat May 11, 2024 3:58 pm
20240511_104033.jpg
Resident Alien fans will get this
A great show, can't wait for a new season.
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Sun May 12, 2024 3:46 pm
by Ylem
Sometimes I read a text and think, What a psycho!
Then I hit send.
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Sun May 12, 2024 5:17 pm
by Ylem
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Mon May 13, 2024 1:53 am
by chicagorandy
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Mon May 13, 2024 4:23 am
by chicagorandy
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Mon May 13, 2024 2:19 pm
by Ylem
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Mon May 13, 2024 6:00 pm
by pakarinen
Chich wrote: ↑Fri May 10, 2024 1:40 am
If it wasn't for black humour I wouldn't make it through most days.
Amen and amen.
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Tue May 14, 2024 12:41 pm
by chicagorandy
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Tue May 14, 2024 12:48 pm
by pakarinen
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Wed May 15, 2024 1:03 am
by AntennaGuy
Me: "Was that... thunder? "
Wife: "I didn't hear anything."
Me: "Well, it could have been a truck, or maybe a distant train."
Wife picks up smart phone, seeks out real-time weather map.
Wife: "There's just a little storm, in about... the middle..."
Me, impatiently: "Middle of what?"
Wife: "Texas"
Me: "Where in Texas?"
Wife, using fingers to move map around more on the phone screen: "Around the middle... It's right under the T. "
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Wed May 15, 2024 5:04 pm
by chicagorandy
I was at the cemetery today visiting the family crypt - as I was walking away a woman came up and said "Good Morning". I responded - "Holy Cow!!! You can see me?"
She just screamed and ran away.
Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues
Posted: Wed May 15, 2024 11:43 pm
by gregl
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. — W. C. Fields