Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

[AntennaGuy]

mathematicians.jpg

If the bartender was just a bit smarter, he would impose a cover charge.

[OzEclipse]

[pakarinen]

[chicagorandy]

[OzEclipse]

[AntennaGuy]

Had some car trouble, so I got a ride to work with a long-time co-worker. I was surprised to see he had a GPS on his dashboard telling him where to turn and when.
Me: Um, you've been working at the same place as me for years. Why do you need a GPS?
Him: It gives me daily affirmation.
GPS: "At the next traffic light, turn left."
Me: That's affirmation?
Him: Not that. Just wait for it...
Me: ?
This continued until we arrived at the parking lot, whereupon:
GPS: "You have arrived."
Him: Yeah! I'VE ARRIVED!!

[pakarinen]

I made a huge to do list for the weekend. i just can't figure out who's going to do it.

[GCoyote]

You know you're getting old when your 'go bag' is mostly filled with things you will need while sitting in one of your doctors' waiting rooms.

[gregl]

[gregl]

[GCoyote]

[Ylem]

[GCoyote]

[messier 111]

Oreo Eclipse.jpg

This photo is in good taste.

[gregl]

[pakarinen]

I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym again today.
That's five years in a row.

[gregl]

Only the mediocre can always be at their best.

[chicagorandy]

[pakarinen]

Did you know a human fart can be louder than a trombone?

I discovered that at my granddaughter's school concert.

[Nakedgun]

~

I've decided that at every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to be there a those who don't.
Trouble is, they're usually married to each other.

While I was pondering other world-changing thoughts like that, my boss came to me at lunch: "Where the hell have you been?" he asked, I've been looking for you all morning!"
I shrugged: "You've said it before, good employees are hard to find."



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