Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

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chicagorandy United States of America
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#581

Post by chicagorandy »


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"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
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The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#582

Post by turboscrew »


call.jpg
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- Juha

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Makuser United States of America
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#583

Post by Makuser »


Hi all. I am having some fun playing catch up with all of you on here today.

Have You Ever Wondered Why?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?
Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and hot dog buns in packages of eight?
Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering?
Why don't we ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a "broker"?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and then a diet Coke?

I hope all of you enjoy these humorous thought provoking questions and have a great weekend.
Marshall
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>)))))*>
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#584

Post by Makuser »


Well...
Image

Hi Juha. Here is another flow chart for you:
Neanderthals.jpg
Marshall
Sky-Watcher 90mm f/13.8 Maksutov-Cassegrain on motorized Multimount
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Celestron Omni XLT150R f/5 Refractor on CG4 mount with dual axis drives.
Orion 180mm f/15 Maksutov-Cassegrain on CG5-GT Goto mount.
Orion XT12i 12" f/4.9 Dobsonian Intelliscope.
Kamakura 7x35 Binoculars and Celestron SkyMaster 15x70 Binoculars. ZWO ASI 120MC camera.
>)))))*>
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#585

Post by Makuser »


Ylem wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2022 1:55 am I failed my biology test today.
They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?" Apparently "convicted criminals" wasn't the correct answer.
Hi Jeff. On a similar theme:
A young teenage girl came home distraught that she had failed the written drivers license test. She said that one question was; "If the car won't start, the _____ is dead". She answered "driver".
Marshall
Sky-Watcher 90mm f/13.8 Maksutov-Cassegrain on motorized Multimount
Orion Astroview 120ST f/5 Refractor on EQ3 mount
Celestron Comet Catcher 140mm f/3.64 Schmidt-Newtonian on alt-az mount
Celestron Omni XLT150R f/5 Refractor on CG4 mount with dual axis drives.
Orion 180mm f/15 Maksutov-Cassegrain on CG5-GT Goto mount.
Orion XT12i 12" f/4.9 Dobsonian Intelliscope.
Kamakura 7x35 Binoculars and Celestron SkyMaster 15x70 Binoculars. ZWO ASI 120MC camera.
>)))))*>
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#586

Post by Makuser »


pakarinen wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 5:23 pm Image
Hi Olen. Here is another one.

The New Amateur Astronomer:
invaders3.JPG
invaders3.JPG (18.41 KiB) Viewed 3396 times
Marshall
Sky-Watcher 90mm f/13.8 Maksutov-Cassegrain on motorized Multimount
Orion Astroview 120ST f/5 Refractor on EQ3 mount
Celestron Comet Catcher 140mm f/3.64 Schmidt-Newtonian on alt-az mount
Celestron Omni XLT150R f/5 Refractor on CG4 mount with dual axis drives.
Orion 180mm f/15 Maksutov-Cassegrain on CG5-GT Goto mount.
Orion XT12i 12" f/4.9 Dobsonian Intelliscope.
Kamakura 7x35 Binoculars and Celestron SkyMaster 15x70 Binoculars. ZWO ASI 120MC camera.
>)))))*>
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#587

Post by chicagorandy »


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"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#588

Post by j.gardavsky »


Makuser wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 4:30 pm ...
Image
Why did the Neanderthalers became extinct, because the letters on the flow chart have been too small to read,

JG
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#589

Post by DeanD »


j.gardavsky wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2022 5:27 pm Making a wetstone,

Back in the Stone Age in Germany,

JG
Not much Occupational Health and Safety in those days... and a lot of those guys look like they are in their 60's or older: is that what you had to do to get the pension?

- and I used to think that grinding a 10" mirror was a lot of work!

- Dean
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#590

Post by turboscrew »


j.gardavsky wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 7:38 pm
Makuser wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 4:30 pm ...
Image
Why did the Neanderthalers became extinct, because the letters on the flow chart have been too small to read,

JG
Yep. I downloaded it and tried to enlarge it, but that didn't help.
- Juha

Senior Embedded SW Designer
Telescope: OrionOptics XV12, Mount: CEM120, Tri-pier 360 and alternative dobson mount.
Grab 'n go: Omegon AC 102/660 on AZ-3 mount
Eyepieces: 26 mm Omegon SWAN 70°, 15 mm TV Plössl, 12.5 mm Baader Morpheus, 10 mm TV Delos, 6 mm Baader Classic Ortho, 5 mm TV DeLite, 4 mm and 3 mm TV Radians
Cameras: ZWO ASI 294MM Pro, Omegon veLOX 178C
OAG: TS-Optics TSOAG09, ZWO EFW 7 x 36 mm, ZWO filter sets: LRGB and Ha/OIII/SII
Explore Scientific HR 2" coma corrector, Meade x3 1.25" Barlow, TV PowerMate 4x 2"
Some filters (#80A, ND-96, ND-09, Astronomik UHC)
Laptop: Acer Enduro Urban N3 semi-rugged, Windows 11
LAT 61° 28' 10.9" N, Bortle 5

I don't suffer from insanity. I'm enjoying every minute of it.

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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#591

Post by j.gardavsky »


turboscrew wrote: Sun Jan 23, 2022 10:23 am
j.gardavsky wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 7:38 pm
Makuser wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 4:30 pm ...
Image
Why did the Neanderthalers became extinct, because the letters on the flow chart have been too small to read,

JG
Yep. I downloaded it and tried to enlarge it, but that didn't help.
It did not help, and therefore the Neanderthalers became extinct,
JG
6" F/5 Sky-Watcher achro, 2" BBHS Star Diagonal, 2" zenith prism, 1.25" Takahashi prism
Leica 82mm APO Televid
Eyepieces: Docter UWA; Leica B WW and WW Asph. Zoom; Leica HC Plan S and L, monocentric; Pentax SMC XW, O-, XO; Tak MC O, Carl Zeiss B WW, and Pl, E-Pl, S-Pl, W-Pl;
Swarovski SW; Baader Symmetric Diascope Edition; Nikon NAV SW, ; TMB supermonocentric; Rodenstock; Vixen HR; TV Delos
Filters: Astrodon, Astronomik, Baader, Balzers, Zeiss West and East, Lumicon
Binoculars (7x42 up to 15x85): Docter Nobilem, Leica Ultravid, Nikon Astroluxe, Swarovski EL Swarovision; BA8 (Kunming Optical)
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#592

Post by chicagorandy »


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"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#593

Post by Makuser »


Hi all. Sorry about the small letters on the old Neanderthal flow chart, but this was the only copy that I had. And the Neanderthals failed because it isn't easy to hammer small letters onto a stone tablet. :lol: Here is another one from my old archives. I put this up on the old AF.net forum, so some of you may have seen it before.

The Kid's New Tree Swing Gone Bad:
Swing.gif
Marshall
Sky-Watcher 90mm f/13.8 Maksutov-Cassegrain on motorized Multimount
Orion Astroview 120ST f/5 Refractor on EQ3 mount
Celestron Comet Catcher 140mm f/3.64 Schmidt-Newtonian on alt-az mount
Celestron Omni XLT150R f/5 Refractor on CG4 mount with dual axis drives.
Orion 180mm f/15 Maksutov-Cassegrain on CG5-GT Goto mount.
Orion XT12i 12" f/4.9 Dobsonian Intelliscope.
Kamakura 7x35 Binoculars and Celestron SkyMaster 15x70 Binoculars. ZWO ASI 120MC camera.
>)))))*>
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#594

Post by gregl »


Makuser wrote: Sun Jan 23, 2022 5:25 pm ...
The Kid's New Tree Swing Gone Bad:
Image

Having served on university faculty committees, I can testify that this is very true.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#595

Post by UlteriorModem »


Makuser wrote: Sun Jan 23, 2022 5:25 pm Hi all. Sorry about the small letters on the old Neanderthal flow chart, but this was the only copy that I had. And the Neanderthals failed because it isn't easy to hammer small letters onto a stone tablet. :lol: Here is another one from my old archives. I put this up on the old AF.net forum, so some of you may have seen it before.

The Kid's New Tree Swing Gone Bad:
Image
I cannot begin to tell you how old this is. I remember seeing it as a junior draftsman in my teens. 50 years or so ago.

Along with many iterations of the "Duck Penetration"
Tom

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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#596

Post by pakarinen »


end.jpg
=============================================================================
I drink tea, I read books, I look at stars when I'm not cursing clouds. It's what I do.
=============================================================================
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#597

Post by chicagorandy »


coffedist.jpg
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#598

Post by Arsene37 »


chicagorandy wrote: Tue Jan 25, 2022 3:33 pm Image
0, 1, 10, 11, 100, 101, 110, 11 …
No number between 1 and 10 !
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#599

Post by Makuser »


UlteriorModem wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2022 12:24 am I cannot begin to tell you how old this is. I remember seeing it as a junior draftsman in my teens. 50 years or so ago.
Along with many iterations of the "Duck Penetration"
Hi Tom. I mentioned that it was from the "archives". :lol:
Here is another old one for you computer programmers and IT guys:
computer programming.jpg
Marshall
Sky-Watcher 90mm f/13.8 Maksutov-Cassegrain on motorized Multimount
Orion Astroview 120ST f/5 Refractor on EQ3 mount
Celestron Comet Catcher 140mm f/3.64 Schmidt-Newtonian on alt-az mount
Celestron Omni XLT150R f/5 Refractor on CG4 mount with dual axis drives.
Orion 180mm f/15 Maksutov-Cassegrain on CG5-GT Goto mount.
Orion XT12i 12" f/4.9 Dobsonian Intelliscope.
Kamakura 7x35 Binoculars and Celestron SkyMaster 15x70 Binoculars. ZWO ASI 120MC camera.
>)))))*>
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#600

Post by AntennaGuy »


Just a public service announcement: Remember: Leave those monkeys (and chimps) alone!
Don't let this happen to you!
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... fears.html
or even worse, this:
* Meade 323 refractor on a manual equatorial mount.
* Celestron C6 SCT on a Twilight 1 Alt-Az mount
Prof. Barnhardt to Klaatu in The Day the Earth Stood Still: "There are several thousand questions I'd like to ask you.”
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