Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

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chicagorandy United States of America
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3281

Post by chicagorandy »


"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3282

Post by chicagorandy »


dunkin.jpg
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3283

Post by chicagorandy »


After all the years going to the casino playing the slots I asked my Therapist if she can help me get over my gambling problem?

She said: You bet.

Me: Yes, that’s why I asked.
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3284

Post by chicagorandy »


To all of us who woke up to snow this morning -
I lied.jpg
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3285

Post by OzEclipse »


Apology Letter To Spouse! scroll down a little at a time.


His letter —-

Hi Sweetheart,I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights. I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something. I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy. All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season. Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights! I took the time to hang the lights for you today and now I will be off to the hockey rink. Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I'll be home later.

Love you!































Her response —

Hi Honey,

Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don't often get an apology from you and I truly appreciate it. I also felt bad about the argument and wanted to apologize. I realize that I can sometimes be a little pushy. I will try to respect your feelings from now on. Thank you for taking the time to hang the Christmas lights for me. It really means a lot. In the spirit of giving, I washed your truck for you and now I am off to the mall.

I love you too!

























christmas-lights-hanging-truck-pool.jpg
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3286

Post by chicagorandy »


LAST WEEK I SAVED A MAN DROWNING IN LAKE MICHIGAN!

I tossed him a bar of soap and he washed ashore
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3287

Post by OzEclipse »


chicagorandy wrote: Sat Mar 23, 2024 11:15 pm LAST WEEK I SAVED A MAN DROWNING IN LAKE MICHIGAN!

I tossed him a bar of soap and he washed ashore
My late uncle worked in a scotch distillery near Glasgow, he loved his job. He died when he fell into one of the VATs and drowned.

His coworkers tried valiantly to pull him out but he fought them off.

:lol: :lol:
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3288

Post by Ylem »


Screenshot_20240324_122656_Instagram.jpg
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3289

Post by Chich »


Local kid got burned playing peek-a-boo. It was pretty bad. Straight to ICU
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Keep calm and set SCE To AUX

Wildland fire: a strong tradition since 440,000,000 BCE
NEW for 345,000,000 BCE - Crown fires!
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3290

Post by pakarinen »


Scientists in China are working on a different way to launch spaceships, with the added benefit of not killing all the astronauts on board: an electromagnetic railgun to fire their astronauts into space.

Yeah, probably a good idea not to kill their astronauts.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3291

Post by chicagorandy »


apologies.jpg
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3292

Post by OzEclipse »


chicagorandy wrote: Mon Mar 25, 2024 11:02 pm apologies.jpg
You mean...surely you didn't.....
Randy.jpg
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3293

Post by Nakedgun »


~

Then there's the story of the older woman who goes to see her GP.

"Doc," she says, "I have a little problem. I hate to bring it up, but I thought it might be an indication that there might be something wrong with me. I'm constantly passing gas -- it doesn't smell and is completely silent, but I thought maybe I should have it checked out."

Her doctor examined her thoroughly, wrote her a prescription and told her to return in a week.

When she came back, he asked her how she was doing.

"Terrible! I pass gas just as much as ever and they are still silent, but now they smell just awful!"

"Good." he said, in response, "Your sinuses have cleared up, now it's time to work on your hearing."



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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3294

Post by Ylem »


Screenshot_20240326_124553_Instagram.jpg
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

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Post by Ylem »


Screenshot_20240326_150510_Instagram.jpg
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3296

Post by chicagorandy »


So..... who's ready for dessert????
eastrer lkamb cake.jpg
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3297

Post by pakarinen »


Checked out the lamb cakes at a local bakery yesterday. $45. Ummm, no.
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3298

Post by DeanD »


chicagorandy wrote: Wed Mar 27, 2024 4:20 pm So..... who's ready for dessert????

eastrer lkamb cake.jpg
Eeek! In particular, second from the left in the second row looks more like Easter Satan/Devil... "Eat me if you dare!"

BTW, I have never heard of "Easter lamb cakes" before. Is it an American thing?
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Re: Clean, fun jokes... the tradition continues

#3299

Post by chicagorandy »


DeanD wrote: Wed Mar 27, 2024 11:31 pm
chicagorandy wrote: Wed Mar 27, 2024 4:20 pm So..... who's ready for dessert????

eastrer lkamb cake.jpg
Eeek! In particular, second from the left in the second row looks more like Easter Satan/Devil... "Eat me if you dare!"

BTW, I have never heard of "Easter lamb cakes" before. Is it an American thing?
Very common in the Polish Catholic Easter traditions.
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
The older I get, the better I was.

Celestron Nexstar+ 127 SLT, several budget plossl eyepieces, Celestron 8-24mm zoom EP and a 12.5mm illuminated double reticle EP, Svbony SV205 camera w/.5 focal reducer, Celestron SkyMaster 20x80 binos on a 40 yr old QuickSet PanHead tripod, Stellarium, Sharpcap and ManyCam on my laptop, SkyView and Nightshift on my phone and a dandy little $9 red-light flashlight.
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